Almost (urp) out of the (gag) 1st trimester....

Okay, my friends.....I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've been missing in action for a couple of weeks. It's not that I don't love you. It's just that my fetus has been doing a Jackie Chan-sized whoopin' on my entire body. I should have known that I wasn't going to get as lucky as I was for Ava's pregnancy. The worst thing that I dealt with with her during the first trimester was fatigue. With this one? YOU NAME IT. If it sucks, I've been dealing with it. I feel like a wrung-out washcloth by the end of the day, and I'm only allowed to take a Tylenol or chew on a Tums. Yeah....that'll help a heap.....

Let me tell you what I miss already during this, my lovely first trimester....

I MISS.....

1. Not knowing every nook and cranny of the inside bowl of our toilets. I was perfectly happy not wretching so hard that I would smack my forehead on the seat while simultaneously wishing I wasn't so "up close and personal" with every peppered spot that I needed to Clorox.

2. Clear skin. For the love of all that is holy.... Is it safe for pregnant women to bathe in and/or drink ProActive? Seriously....

3. Waking up in the morning and not immediately counting down the hours until Ava's nap so that I can lie down. I'm writing this entry as she is napping, and I'm already telling you that I'm going to be kicking myself later for not taking this time to sleep. I can't even explain how much that is NOT like me.

4. The outside. I am in the middle of an Arizona summer.

109 degrees outside

+

The massive increase of your body temp when pregnant

=

Torture and/or certain death.

I am used to taking my daughter outside every day for atleast a walk, and now we are in weather that neither a toddler nor a pregnant woman can handle for more than ten minutes without shrinking into a twitching little puddle on the ground. I'm getting cabin fever to the point that I actually look forward to going to the grocery store--I get to leave the house, but I go to someplace that is still air conditioned. When you actually look forward to surrounding yourself with produce and canned goods, there's a problem. Don't get me wrong...I love my home....but I'm so sick being in it all the time I could die. Plus, the fact that "The Wiggles" are playing throughout the main room, I sometimes feel like sticking my head in the oven.

5. Pooping. 'Nuff said.

6. People looking at me and not having to wonder if I'm pregnant or just hit the Krispy Kremes a bit too hard.

7. Not taking six prenatals and two omega pills per day. I'm starting to sound like a change purse when I walk.

8. Pooping.

9. Being able to change my daughter's poopy diapers without doing that gag-face where your nostrils flare, your mouth drops open and your tongue shoots out. They never bothered me before I was pregnant, and now I can't peel that thing off her butt without sounding like I'm about to cough up a furrball.

10. Pooping.

But.....I'm only two more weeks away from the 2nd trimester, and I'm so excited about it that I could throw a party....with banners, balloons, those stupid horns that you blow and an air-filled projectile uncurls....the whole shebang......

Look for an invitation soon in a mailbox near you.